Now who are you?
We have teamed up with J1 Coaching to talk about some of the things we can all do to make small changes and improve our well-being. Jim Constable is a friend of FiveWays and we are delighted he has agreed to share his knowledge and expertise with our clients:
Transitions typically involve three stages - letting go, a period of adjustment and new beginnings.
In work a job title brings with it clarity, security and identity. If asked what you do, the answer is forthcoming. It was written at the bottom of your email or, once upon a time, maybe written on a business card or even on your desk.
In retirement that clarity becomes blurred for a while. There is no longer an immediate given answer to “what do you do?” Instead there is an answer for you to create, that you feel comfortable with and which works for you.
Identity can be a real problem for professional sports people who have to retire suddenly and unexpectedly through injury. If they had always been Mary, “and I play football” that is subtly but materially different to “I am Mary the footballer”. Roger Federer, who was able to retire on his own terms, was able to fully recognise that "life is bigger than the court".
Who are you now?
At retirement this is a question to be answered either through trial and error, awkward bumbling or as a result of some careful thought. “I used to be...” is a part answer. Or it is a temporary one? After all, that was then.
The question of identity is a bigger issue for some than others. But if your identity has been your work - perhaps your role provided status through responsibility or specialism - then be prepared for a period of adjustment until you find your way.
That period of adjustment may last a week, a year or even longer, but eventually a new identity will be found, if needed.
